The International Engineer

April 25th, 2023

I remember before I went abroad, I told my family and friends that I was thinking about studying in France. And a few people urged me to reconsider, stating that “the French are rude.” But I pooh-poohed their concerns thinking they were baseless and rooted in pettiness. And now that I’m here, I wouldn’t call it “rudeness,” but I can understand why many Americans would find the French way unsettling and impolite.

From what I’ve encountered here, people are bitingly honest. They never mince their words and don’t sugarcoat negative feedback the way Americans do. The concept of “I really like how you do this, but I would suggest adding…” becomes “You forgot this” in France. Eliciting praise is very, very difficult. In fact, it is only saved for the exceptional. And if you’re like me and are used to the American external (excessive) validation, things may come as a rude shock here. But on the other side of this extreme, when you do earn praise, it feels very good and very genuine. A “good job” is truly amazing and not a passing comment to be taken lightly.

It also builds a thick skin. I remember in my circuits class I was reluctant to do a calculation that I thought would be cumbersome. But I knew how to do it, so when the professor came to check on our progress I told him that this is what I would do, but that I’m feeling a little lazy at the moment, adding a chuckle. But he didn’t seem amused, instead looking me in the eye and saying with a straight-face “yes you are.” I looked up to see my other American friend staring at me in shock —- with a did-he-just-say-that expression?

Part of it has to do with the American idea that feelings should not be hurt; people should feel encouraged at all times to share their ideas. And in France, feelings are not given the same consideration. It’s assumed that people know how to deal with their own feelings and a critical comment will not have an impact. But alas, I haven’t reached that stage of my life yet where I can brush off criticism with a smile. As my good friend once put it “Ananya, you’re a snowflake.” And if you’re wondering, snowflake is a gen-Z word for someone who is easily offended, an emotional softie. I realized in France that she was right all along.

A better example of my snowflake-ness occurred at my internship. I work at a biology research laboratory here and cell culture is a big part of my responsibilities. As one can imagine, working with cancer cells requires precaution, good technique, etc. to avoid contamination (bad cell culture techniques can cause a lot of problems in a lab). Unfortunately, I was never given a formal training and have been relying on my technique learned in America. That plus I’m still learning my way around the lab.

The other day, I accidentally put my materials in a hood adjacent to the one I had reserved because it was unclear to me how to distinguish my reservation. And just at that moment, the lab manager entered and was very unhappy with my mistake. And later on during an experiment when I asked her where I could find a marker and a reservoir, she echoed the same sentiments. And then the day ended and I stopped thinking about the interaction. So imagine my surprise when I open my inbox to a mass email sent to all the principal investigators at the research institute passively-aggressively referencing the interaction from yesterday.

Here is the Google translated version:

We have a lot of interns/newbies at the moment, and the situation is “starting” to become unmanageable. I don’t know if it’s a lack of training on arrival or understanding or a lack of professional conscience…The fact remains that, even taking maximum precautions, it becomes difficult or even impossible to “protect” one’s own manipulation.

Note the following words: “unmanageable.” “Lack of professional conscience.” “Impossible to protect one’s own”

And this in sharp contrast to the emails circulated at Columbia University when someone fails to follow the protocol. There is no reference to a person’s qualities or “professional conscience,” but the email reads:

Someone is running qPCR machine #1(green) without making a reservation on the google calendar. Therefore, based on our User guidelines, those who reserve the time points possess the priority to use the machine, and your experiments will be STOPPED. 

I have the qPCR machine user guidelines listed below again, which was sent previous for the refresh! Thank you for everyone’s cooperation.

In the case of the email above, it was sent after an experiment had already been completely ruined. And ironically, it has a more subdued tone compared to the French email.

Of course, it’s important to remember we’re analyzing a translated version of the French email. But regardless, I think some differences between the two emails are still obvious. Which is that for the French “if something is not to their liking, they will not hesitate to complain or express frustration.” The American email was sent after something went wrong. People are not quick to send a mildly disapproving email because such emails tend to “hurt feelings.” And not to draw too many conclusions, but my lab in America did get contamination…so take from that what you will.

I will say that waking up to the French email was not pleasant, but it is also humbling. Hearing that my technique can be improved is necessary for me to a better researcher. And while it wasn’t music to my ears this way, I’m glad that I can expect an honest opinion in France. So maybe there are benefits to the French bluntness after all.